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“No!” “Not allowed!” “No!” Does it really work?

Parenting Tips​

October 2022

Written by : Child Behavioral Emotional Therapist
           Ip Wai Lun

 

Many times, parents get angry because their children don’t follow the rules or challenge some bottom line. For example, if a parent doesn’t want a child to touch something, the parent will just say, “Hey! Don’t touch it!” and “No!” and “Stop”, the child will hear many of these “No! and “No! In fact, this will often make children feel that they have done something wrong, which in turn will undermine their confidence and make them avoid doing things in the future.

 

As a parent, what can you do to make your child follow the rules without undermining his self-confidence? What kind of talking skills can parents use?

 

For example, if a child is angry and his face is red, we can use the following “three-step” approach.

 

Part I: Say How He Feels

“Mommy and Daddy see how angry you are ……”

“Look at your red face. ……”

Parents can try to help their children say how they feel. This is the first and most important step.

 

Part 2: Setting boundaries

When a child has a temper tantrum and may hit someone, parents should immediately set a line: “Okay, we can’t hurt others. Help him to set a compliance line.

 

Part 3: Arranging a platform for diversion

If the child has already hit someone, the parent should arrange a platform for the child to channel the anger.

 

For example, the parent can say, “Oh! I see you are so angry that your face is red and you want to hit someone! Why don’t you show Daddy how angry you are? “Why don’t you hit this shark doll?”

 

Maybe the child will say, “Yes, okay! and then hit the shark doll. At this point, the parent should tell the child, “Oh, Daddy is really angry to see you.

By allowing the child to express his or her emotions, the child will understand that when he or she has negative emotions, they won’t be accepted by the parents.

 

If parents use the above three steps, not only will they accept their children’s negative emotions, but they will also not condone their misbehavior, and most importantly, children will learn to follow the rules.

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Parents Zone

Let your child learn to face failure

家長錦囊

October 2022

Written by: Director of Curriculum and Training, Financial Education Association

          Mr. Kwan Hin Bun

 

In many cases, the biggest blow to a child is not the failure itself, but his or her understanding of the failure. For example, if a child is not selected to represent the school in an inter-school competition, the usual reason they think of is that they are not as good as their classmates. But there may be other reasons behind it. Maybe the teacher is worried that if he gets hurt, he won’t be able to represent the school in other more important competitions. This is not to teach children to avoid responsibility, but sometimes we need to make them understand that it is indeed their own factors that lead to failure.

 

Parents need to remind their children that anyone who starts something will always have difficulty. Parents should encourage their children to persevere to the end, without taking the requirement of perfection too seriously. Don’t be impatient to provide help to your child; let them try to meet the challenge in a different way. For example, if your child has difficulty learning to write Chinese characters, let him or her copy them first.

 

As children, their attitudes toward people and things around them are often unstable and easily influenced by emotions and other factors. When faced with difficulties and failures, they tend to develop negative emotions and fail to deal with failures with the right attitude, thus creating resilience. At this time, parents should tell their children in time, failure is not terrible, as long as a little brave can do a good job, learn from the failure to see how to do next time. Parents should consciously use their children’s failures as educational opportunities to guide their children to regain their courage and try again with boldness and confidence. At the same time, educate your child to face difficulties and setbacks, to improve the ability to overcome difficulties and resilience.

In life, no one can remain unbeaten for a long time, like China’s “hurdle king” Liu Xiang who also lost in the London Olympics. Only those who are brave enough to face failure will have the chance to show their smiles of success again.

 

Parents should know how to teach their children to be brave in the face of failure, because no one is always successful in life. We understand from childhood that “failure is the mother of success”, so there is nothing to be afraid of when we face up to failure. However, if we look at our understanding of this statement, we should focus on “success” rather than “failure”, so that our recognition of failure is still conditional. When failure is no guarantee of future success, Failure, is still a shame and a sin. Therefore, parents must be clear about whether they are teaching their children to face failure or to avoid it!

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Parents Zone

Must I drink sports drinks after exercise?

Parenting Tips

October 2022

Written by : Registered Dietitian (Australia)

Chung Yong Man

Children should walk more and do more exercise. My good friend May has always wanted to challenge the marathon 10km race. We agreed to train together once a week. Since she seldom exercises, I suggested her to start with a brisk walk first and try running only after she got used to it. After the exercise, we went to the convenience store to buy drinks and May chose sports drinks without saying a word.

 

” I see that runners bring their own sports drinks and they claim to be good for energy, so I drink them in my spare time, at least it’s better than soda! ” She took the drinks and was ready to pay at the counter.

I said, “Hydration before, during and after exercise is very important, especially during long endurance sports, such as ball games and marathons, where a lot of water and electrolytes will be lost through sweat. It contains water and electrolytes, such as sodium, potassium and magnesium, which can be replenished during exercise. It also contains sugar, which can replenish the sugar consumed during exercise and reduce fatigue. The American College of Sports Medicine also points out that for people who exercise for one hour or more, drinking sports drinks may improve endurance and performance. However, if the exercise is less than one hour, the electrolytes and water consumed in the daily diet are sufficient to replenish the body and there is no need to drink additional sports drinks.

I took away the sports drink from her hand and replaced it with water and continued, “Moreover, 100ml of sports drink contains about 6 grams of sugar, 500ml has 30 grams of sugar, which is equivalent to 6 teaspoons of granulated sugar, similar to the sugar content of a can of soft drink. If you are just walking, which is not an exercise that consumes too many calories, or as a leisure drink, regular consumption is likely to cause fat. You’ll be able to use it next year when you compete in a race!

 

She turned her attention to the energy drinks next to her and asked expectantly, “Are energy drinks suitable for sports?

 

I explained, “The main ingredients of energy drinks include taurine, vitamin B complex, caffeine and carbohydrates, etc. They are used for refreshment. But because caffeine has a diuretic effect, it will speed up water loss, which is more likely to cause dehydration, so it is not suitable to drink during exercise. No more searching around, water is your best choice!