Month: April 2023

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“Poverty leads to change, change leads to adapt” Let children learn to be flexible

Parenting Tips

April 2023

Written by：Gigamind English Primary School Principal Law

 

There is a Chinese saying: “Raising a child for 100 years old is a long-term worry for 99 years. This speaks to the heart of thousands of parents. As the weather turns colder, you are busy adding clothes for your child, but when you see other people’s children running and jumping around wearing only a single coat, you may worry that he is too warm and less able to adapt. If your child doesn’t listen to you and does what he wants to do, you will be annoyed, but if he asks you for everything, you may worry and say, “Oh! Didn’t I teach you that? Why don’t you always know how to adapt?

 

The power of adaptability from the movie

Spontonsive Flexibility is an element of creativity. If you know how to adapt, you can solve a problem in a different way.

 

Have you ever seen the movie “Apollo 13”, which is based on a true story? One scene of the movie tells the story of the runaway spacecraft, filtering toxic gas equipment is broken, scientists found that to solve the problem, we need to connect a round interface to a square interface above. Different sizes of water pipes cannot be reliably connected, but they want to connect the round interface? Sounds like you know it is impossible, but if you cannot connect the filter cannot pass the toxic gas, the three astronauts will not be able to return alive! In the end, with the cooperation of each other, they used plastic bags, cardboard, tape and other things to connect the two different interfaces, successfully solved the problem.

Inclusion of children’s ideas

We need to be mindful that developing children’s adaptability requires an attitude of tolerance and acceptance of seemingly silly solutions to problems. Since adults have more experience and are better at solving problems than children, they sometimes feel that the solutions children come up with are not good enough. However, the most important thing is that these solutions were thought up by the children themselves, and they can work. Even if they don’t work, they probably make some sense and can barely do it. No matter how “dumb” a child’s approach is, every success and every parental support gives him or her more confidence to solve problems in the future.

 

Letting your child try

Adults may be able to figure out solutions to problems faster than children, so we need to give children enough time to think and try, and not rush to tell them what they think. Parents should let go of their children and let them face difficulties on their own. “Poverty leads to change”, and the motivation for “change” will be weakened with too much help.

This is the difficulty of being a parent. If you help too much, you worry that your child will not know how to solve problems on his own; if you help too little, you worry that he will not be able to catch up with others; and with so many things to deal with every day, how can you have time to let your child take his time to finish what he has to do every day? However, there are times, such as during the holidays, when we really need to consider slowing down the pace of life and allowing our children to do more of their own work, learn to solve problems in their own way, and develop adaptability.

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How can children learn to take care of themselves?

Parenting Tips

April 2023

Source: Shirley Loo, Executive Director, Family Development Foundation

 

As we may notice, in today’s society, the children of the previous generation have grown up and are now working in society, but it seems that their parents are involved in many things. It made me think back to my own childhood—did our moms always take care of us in a pampering role? Did everything seem to be taken care of so well that the kids could just focus on school and academics?

 

In fact, this is definitely not a healthy phenomenon for the growth of children, but I also understand that mothers think that children do not need to care about anything, mothers take care of everything for you, remove any adversity and difficulties for him, establish a protection zone, and tell him to focus only on studying well. But being a good student is not the same as knowing how to be a good person. Both things should be balanced.

 

They may find it very profound to know how to behave. If you narrow it down, it means the ability to take care of oneself. Parents should know how to let go and let their children learn to take care of themselves; that is, if they know how to do things themselves, they should let them do as much as possible. For example, he knows how to pack his schoolbag, and how to put things into it. Of course, you have to teach him first and then let him do it.

 

This ability to care for oneself is also a survival skill; from the initial tying of shoelaces and packing of a schoolbag to growing up a little to take care of one’s own bookshelves and desks, and later applying to university, all are very basic survival skills. For example, what does it mean to “pack a schoolbag”? First, he must know how to write a handbook. He did not write everything down at first, but he can ask his classmates, and mothers can take the initiative to find different parents to chat with and compare the handbook with.

Second, check if he is shortsighted because many children do not copy properly because of eye problems. Third, in addition to the handbook being fully written, is how to organize in accordance with the timetable. Mom can demonstrate how to organize once a day before. The next day, ask him, “Get the General Studies book.” Slowly, he learns to organize, his mother can praise him, and some parents even use those reward tables. Give him a stamp if he packed the schoolbag today so that he has some sense of achievement. When he knows how to pack his schoolbag, it means he knows how to sort things.

 

Many times, parents are preoccupied with their own lives or work pressures, or their moods do not always remain positive. “Don’t do that; I’ll help you do it instead.” There will be times when there is no way; we will miss and be exhausted. But if you really do his homework for him, there is a risk because it’s dishonest and you don’t let him learn, because he would only learn and remember after making mistakes. I remember once a mother telling me that her daughter’s writing was crooked, so the mother kept erasing and breaking paper.

I said, “You can use some creative methods to teach children in first grade.” I like to tell her that every word has its own home, and that home is inside the square. Those words like to return home, and you can help them be securely placed in their home. Parents need to be patient and wait for their children to improve slowly. Each child has his or her own pace of growth. I hope parents will respect the rhythm of their growth and respect their pace. In fact, while they are learning, we are also learning, so we can all progress together.

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Learn to shop with real money

Parenting Tips

April 2023

Written by : New Horizons Development Centre

                  Registered Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah

Under the epidemic, many families have become accustomed to shopping online, which is convenient and fast and frees up more time for other tasks. Even in everyday purchases, there is often no need to pay cash directly, for example, when taking transportation or shopping at convenience stores, you only need to use your Octopus to complete the payment process without using any coins. When everyone is used to it, and children already know how to use this kind of electronic money, is there any problem? In fact, “convenience” can sometimes stifle the knowledge that can be gained in the learning process.

Just think about it, the use of credit cards by adults is also convenient for shopping, but it can be a big challenge to our financial management skills because we need to be very disciplined in order not to exceed our budgets or “spend money in the future”. A young man once confessed that when he was growing up, his family was richer, and when he saw his family paying for things after dinner or at the department store, all he had to do was sign for them; when he wanted to buy something, his family would also go along with his wishes and sign for it. But it was not until he started working that he realized that he still needed to pay for something other than his signature. Money is found to be limited. Is it too late to start learning financial control at that moment?

Parents are encouraged to give their children opportunities to make actual purchases in their daily lives when they are young. This helps to enhance their cognitive understanding, mathematical concepts and, more importantly, their general knowledge and habits of financial management. For example, ask them to pay in cash instead of electronically when buying food from convenience stores or subway tickets. Even though parents may need to spend more time in the process, they may not have a complete concept of money yet, but their actual participation can easily generate curiosity and observation, and gradually feel or understand the value of different items.

 

Parents can teach them to recognize money at different levels as they grow up, and when teaching them to actually buy things, they must add fun learning or activity elements. First, parents can provide them with opportunities at home to learn about different coins or bills, such as the difference between one and two dollars and the colors of different bills. Second, when they have mastered the basic concepts, parents can ask them to change the coins or bills that they are instructed to change. Further, once they know how to pay in one direction, parents can guide them to take back the money they have redeemed. Finally, when they are learning to buy, they need to know if they are getting the right amount of money, and the amount or complexity of the amount can increase as their cognitive level increases!

In general, parents do not need to give up paying electronically in their daily life, as long as they have enough coins or banknotes for learning on weekends or when appropriate. For example, when taking a bus, take out the coins and actually check them, or when buying something, count the money provided by the parents and try to feel the actual purchase, if it is really inconvenient, parents can use electronic means to complete the transaction simultaneously.

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