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How to Enhance Children’s Vocabulary? 2 Essential Methods to Implement in Daily Life!

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Source: Speech Therapist Mom Miss Carley

Vocabulary skills can be divided into two categories: expressive and receptive. Expressive vocabulary refers to the words that children can say, while receptive vocabulary refers to the words that children can understand when they hear or see them.

Generally, children have a larger receptive vocabulary than expressive vocabulary. For example, a one-year-old child can say about five words, such as “Daddy,” “Mommy,” “Grandma,” “street,” and “ball.” However, they can understand more words than they can express. For instance, if a parent says, “Where is the light?” the child may be able to point to it. They can also understand questions like “Do you want a bun?” or “Are you drinking milk?” and phrases like “Let’s go to the street.”

Expressive Vocabulary Levels by Age:

  • 1 year: Can say some single words.
  • 5 years: About fifty words; can use some single words to form short sentences.
  • 2 years: Can reach two hundred to three hundred words.

3 years: About five hundred to one thousand expressive words.

In fact, the way and amount of time parents converse with their children daily is directly related to the children’s vocabulary development. So, how can we enhance children’s vocabulary in daily life?

Method 1: Stimulating Language Environment

During infancy and toddlerhood, parents should engage in more conversations, play parent-child games, and sing songs to encourage interaction. In the process, parents can try to use different types of vocabulary to describe their children’s actions. For instance, when a child is playing with a toy car, instead of just saying the noun, “Yes, that’s a car,” parents might also add adjectives, saying, “Yes, this car is red and very big.” They can also use verbs, saying, “Ah! You are driving the car,” or “You are sitting in the car.” Additionally, using locational words like “Now the car is on the table…under the table” can expose children to a variety of vocabulary and help them express themselves better.

Method 2: Aligning with Children’s Interests

If a child enjoys reading, engaging in parent-child reading can introduce many new words. Furthermore, parents can describe the events happening around them based on their child’s abilities and interests. For example, at the supermarket, parents might say, “These are bananas and apples.” When in the car, they can talk about the scenery outside.

If the child has the ability, parents can also describe events that happened earlier, such as, “This morning we played at the park and kicked a soccer ball,” allowing the child to use more vocabulary related to past experiences.

For older children with higher vocabulary skills, parents can play word games with them, such as naming fruits, modes of transportation, or animals. They can also engage in activities where they compare words with specific characteristics, like naming red foods—tomatoes, strawberries, and apples. Alternatively, parents can ask children to think of words related to a specific term. For example, when thinking about summer, they might come up with ice cream, heat, rain, and swimming. These activities not only enrich children’s vocabulary skills but also enhance their associative thinking and imagination.

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Healthy Back Care Exercises – Suitable for Both Adults and Children

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Written by: Fong Wai Kwan, Dr. Kong’s Professional Team of Registered Physiotherapist

 

Parents should avoid letting their children develop the following bad postures, which can affect the development of the spine:

 

When children are doing their homework, they should avoid sitting sideways to one side, as this posture can easily lead to uneven use of force on the left and right sides of the spine, causing problems such as scoliosis. At the same time, they should maintain an upright posture in both the neck and waist.

When children use computers, they should not lean their necks too far forward to look at the screen, as this can easily lead to neck strain. Parents should also remind children to keep their necks and backs straight, and choose chairs that are adjustable in height and equipped with backrests and armrests to support the back, hands, and wrists. Additionally, the screen should be positioned at a height not above eye level. After every 30 minutes of computer use, there should be adequate rest breaks taken.

 

When lifting heavy objects from the floor, it is best to avoid bending the waist forward to pick them up. Instead, one should adopt a semi-squatting posture, keeping the waist straight. Then, grip the heavy object with both hands, keeping it as close to the body as possible. Finally, use the leg muscles to stand up, maintaining a straight waist.

 

Neck Stretching Exercises

Purpose: To help relieve muscle tension in the neck

Steps: 1. Turn your head to the left and right sides, holding each position for 10 seconds.

  1. Move your head up and down, holding each position for 10 seconds.
  2. Tilt your head towards the left and right sides, holding each position for 10 seconds.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

 

Shoulder Stretching Exercises

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the shoulder muscles

Steps: Place your hands on your shoulders, and rotate your elbows forward and backward 10 times in each direction.

Chest Stretching

Purpose: To help stretch the chest muscles and improve poor posture

Steps: Firmly grasp your hands behind your back, and raise your hands as high as possible, holding for 10 seconds. Repeat 10 times per day.

 

Stretching the Back and Waist Muscles

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the back and waist muscles

Steps: 1. Place your hands on your knees, then bend forward at the waist, hold for 10 seconds, and slowly return to a standing position.

  1. Place your hands on your hips, then bend backward at the waist, hold for 10 seconds, and slowly return to a standing position.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

 

Side Body Stretching

Purpose: To help relieve tension in the side waist muscles

Steps: 1. Place your hands on your hips and twist your waist from side to side, slowly returning to the starting standing position with hands on hips. Hold each side for 10 seconds.

  1. Raise your left hand and bend to the right, hold for 10 seconds, then slowly return to the starting standing position with hands on hips.
  2. Raise your right hand and bend to the left, hold for 10 seconds, then slowly return to the starting standing position with hands on hips.

Repeat the full set of exercises 10 times per day.

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Why do children have the habit of sucking their fingers? What can parents do about it?

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Written by: Ms. Chan-Chen Shu-an, Early Childhood Education Specialist

 

Some children still have the habit of sucking their fingers even when they enter kindergarten, or even at ages 5 or 6. According to Dr. David Levy’s research, children who finish a bottle of milk in 10 minutes (possibly due to a larger bottle nipple hole) are more likely to develop the habit of sucking their fingers, compared to children who finish the entire bottle in 20 minutes. Dr. Levy also experimented by feeding puppies with a dropper, so they didn’t have a chance to suck while drinking milk. The result was that the puppies reacted by sucking each other’s or their own skin, and some even peeled off the skin through excessive sucking. From this, we can understand that the behavior of infants sucking their fingers in the first few months is due to the lack of satisfaction from sucking, it is a need, and not an innate or bad behavior.

 

Why do children develop the habit of sucking their fingers?

 

Breastfeeding Promotes Parent-Child Bonding

When a mother can breastfeed her baby, the infant is the happiest, because not only does the baby receive proper nutrition, but also the skin-to-skin contact provides warmth and a sense of security. Moreover, by sucking on the soft nipple, in addition to getting fed, the baby also enjoys the communication and deep love between mother and child. This profound affection and intimacy is incomparable to being fed by a cold bottle. The baby also experiences an unparalleled sense of fulfillment from the sucking.

 

However, as most mothers have to work outside the home, and for various other reasons, they have to use bottles to feed their children. In these cases, parents should pay special attention to the frequency and time taken for bottle-feeding. Mothers should calmly let the child eat slowly, and pay particular attention to the size of the bottle nipple hole. If the baby’s sucking needs are adequately met, they are less likely to develop the habit of sucking their fingers. Babies tend to start finger-sucking unconsciously – their little fingers move around and end up in their mouth, and they find pleasure and satisfaction in sucking on them.

Venting Psychological Stress

 

However, if the habit of thumb-sucking persists even at the age of 4-5 years old, the meaning is different. This could be a way to vent psychological stress. For example: due to conflicts between parents, the child feels anxious; because of a new sibling, the child fears losing parental love; because parents are too busy and unable to take care of them, the child feels lonely and lacks the warmth of a family; or the child was sent to kindergarten too early and lacks proper care, resulting in a lack of a sense of security. These factors can lead the child to feel anxiety, uneasiness, tension, and panic, which are all causes of psychological stress.

 

Just like adults, when children experience psychological stress, they need to vent it, which is a very natural phenomenon. Adults often use smoking to relax themselves. Children may use thumb-sucking or rocking to vent their emotional tension. In this case, as parents, in addition to paying attention to improving their attitude towards the child, they should also have extra patience. They should maintain a calm and kind attitude, so that the child can feel relaxed and not under pressure. If the parents show worry, tension or are hasty in correcting the behavior, such as tying the hands or applying bitter medicine, it will only backfire and increase the child’s insecurity. The child wants to stop the habit but cannot control it, creating a vicious cycle that prolongs the thumb-sucking habit.

What can parents do?

 

  1. Breastfeed as much as possible, as this is the most natural and suitable feeding method for infants, and it reduces the chances of the child developing a thumb-sucking habit.

 

  1. When using a bottle to feed the child, parents should pay special attention to the feeding time, and aim to maintain the feeding for 15 to 20 minutes, which is relatively ideal.

 

  1. Use toys and dolls to engage the child in finger activities, in order to divert the child’s habit of thumb-sucking.

 

  1. Spend more time with the child, playing together, telling stories, and singing children’s songs, so that the child does not feel lonely and bored, and thus less inclined to suck their thumb.

 

  1. When the child sucks their thumb excessively, parents should still be patient and maintain a calm and relaxed attitude. Sometimes, ignoring the behavior and not drawing attention to it can naturally lead to the disappearance of the thumb-sucking habit.

 

  1. If the child has had a thumb-sucking habit for many years before the age of 6, it will gradually disappear, especially when the child no longer sucks their thumb during the day, but only while sleeping. Parents should be patient and wait, as rushing to correct the habit is ineffective. Particularly after the child starts kindergarten, the habit may disappear naturally, as the child may not want to suck their thumb in front of their peers, or they are too busy with other activities at school.

 

  1. Sucked fingers can have an unpleasant odor. If a child aged 5-6 still has the thumb-sucking habit, parents can try having the child smell the unpleasant odor, which may help correct this bad habit.

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Is it Eczema or Skin Sensitivity?

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Written by: YEUNG Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioner

 

As we move into early autumn, in addition to starting to feel the cool breezes, we also notice that many of our friends around us have started to “itch”, and skin problems have come knocking on the door again! Many people have rushed to seek medical attention, constantly inquiring whether they have already contracted incurable eczema. Although eczema itself has different categories, in terms of the pathogenesis, there are many similarities with skin sensitivity. How exactly should we distinguish between skin sensitivity and eczema? Is eczema really as terrible as it seems?

 

1. Causes of the Condition

Eczema is a common type of allergic dermatitis that is not contagious. In traditional Chinese medicine, it is referred to as “damp sores”, and it is a very common skin condition. The internal factors of eczema include constitution, emotions, and organ dysfunction, while the external factors include wind, dampness, and heat obstructing the skin. “Where evil congregates, the vital energy must be deficient.” When the body’s righteous qi is weakened, and the immune system function is reduced, wind, dampness, and heat evils permeate the skin, leading to the development or worsening of eczema.

Skin sensitivity, also known as urticaria, is closely related to certain food sensitivities or contact with substances. There are two common types of skin sensitivity. The first is an allergic reaction triggered by exposure to external irritants such as metals, dust mites, and chemicals. The second is caused by food sensitivity, which can lead to varying degrees of skin sensitivity issues, including redness, dryness, and peeling, as well as intense itching that may result in a “scratching” sensation.

2. Differences in the Appearance of the Affected Areas

In terms of the appearance of the skin rash, skin sensitivity generally presents with redness, and even urticaria, which can worsen after scratching. Acute eczema can manifest with red rashes, oozing, and even bleeding, while chronic eczema can lead to thickening of the stratum corneum, an uneven surface, dryness, and even cracking. Once this thickened stratum corneum is scratched off, it can not only cause bleeding, but also result in oozing. Moreover, eczema can occur on any part of the body, such as the ears, head, face, hands, navel, and legs, but in a symmetrical distribution. Patients often experience intense itching, and when they scratch the affected areas, it can lead to skin erosion, oozing of serous fluid, and even the formation of thick crusts. The repeated episodes can make the skin surface rough and with raised lesions.

3. Treatments Converge Towards the Same Goal

Skin problems are primarily related to the three pathogenic factors of wind, dampness, and heat, especially dampness. Dampness can engender heat, leading to a damp-heat pattern. Over time, dampness can injure the spleen, while heat can damage the yin blood, resulting in a mixed pattern of deficiency and excess. This is because the patient’s innate constitution (inherent physical factors) is intolerant, with a weakened spleen and stomach, leading to the generation of internal damp-heat. When combined with an external wind evil, the internal and external evils interact, causing the wind-damp-heat evil to permeate the skin. Patients generally have a congenitally weak spleen and stomach constitution. Excessive consumption of spicy, irritating foods like seafood, or a large intake of raw, cold foods in summer can lead to dampness and toxins burdening the body, further impairing the spleen’s function and increasing the likelihood of developing skin sensitivity.

Therefore, dietary adjustment is crucial in the treatment of skin problems. Patients with skin diseases should avoid “aggravating foods” during the treatment period. These include seafood, beef, sweets, spicy foods, and alcohol – items that can trigger or worsen skin rashes. Patients should also avoid various skin irritants, such as scratching, using strongly alkaline soaps, taking hot showers, and engaging in activities that cause excessive sweating, as these can provide relief for eczema.

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Obsession: Separation Anxiety

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Written by: Hong Kong Registered Psychologist, Ching Wai Keung

 

Around nine months of age, babies become unusually clingy. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, the baby may appear extremely anxious, clinging tightly to the mother and even crying loudly.

 

Separation anxiety can lead to two different types of reactions. In some cases, when separated from the caregiver, the baby will exhibit attachment-seeking behaviors, such as clinging to the mother, trying every possible way to find the mother, or crawling wherever the mother goes (Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971). Separation can also result in behaviors such as despair, resistance, and detachment, depending on the duration of the separation (Bowlby, 1960; Robertson & Robertson, 1989).

 

A child’s reaction to separation can also change depending on the environment. For example, in a familiar home environment, the child will exhibit less anxiety compared to being in an unfamiliar environment (Ross, Kagan, Zelazo, & Kotelchuck, 1975).

Around seven months of age, the concept of object permanence begins to emerge in children. They understand that even if they cannot see someone or something, it does not mean that the person or object has disappeared. When children are able to establish this concept, their separation anxiety will relatively decrease. If the mother can frequently communicate with the child, express positive emotions and feelings towards the infant, and provide appropriate stimulation and assistance, the child will more easily grasp and apply the concept of object permanence to both objects and people (Chazan, 1981).

 

Helping children cope with separation anxiety requires a certain amount of time, allowing the child and caregiver to develop a close, attached emotional relationship (Attachment), and waiting for the child’s own development to mature before it can be effective. For a two-year-old child, they can use photographs to alleviate their feelings of sorrow when separated from their caregiver (Passman & Longeway, 1982); a three-year-old child can even stay overnight at their grandparents’ house without their parents being present.

 

Whether a child can develop this kind of “resilience” depends on whether the caregiver and the child can establish a close emotional relationship. Once the mutual relationship is established, the child can soothe their anxiety caused by separation by imagining the image of their parents and recalling their parents’ love (Development Through Life, Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman, Wadsworth, 2003).

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The Wonderful Use of Storybooks (For Young Children with High-Functioning Autism)

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Written by: The Educational Psychologist Team of the Heep Hong Society

 

For young children with autism who have intellectual and language abilities at the 5-6 year old level, what kind of books should they read? What techniques should parents use when reading with their children?

 

Young children with high-functioning autism should be able to understand simple moral stories. Parents can refer to the “social story” format to help children with autism effectively understand the content. When the child is familiar with the story content, parents can replace the main character with other real people, or even the child themselves, so that the child can gradually put themselves into the moral story scenario. The story characters can be changed, and the story plot can also be slightly altered: for example, “grandma’s house” can be changed to “aunt’s house”, allowing the child to flexibly apply what they have learned. Of course, changes to the characters and plot should be made before the child develops rigidity towards the story details. As for fables, fairy tales and mythological stories that commonly use abstract metaphors, they can be used only when the child with autism has the ability to generalize their knowledge.

 

In terms of cognition, when the child’s comprehension reaches a certain level, parents can emphasize emotional words in the story, such as “When she saw the dog, Mei Mei was very scared.” When the child is ready to learn the concept of sequence, parents can emphasize the description of time, such as “Mei Mei did something wrong, and then she said she was sorry.” Based on the child’s level, parents can utilize each page of the storybook, adding or emphasizing appropriate words.

In terms of parent-child interaction, for children with autism who have higher abilities, they can take turns with their parents to tell the story, one sentence at a time. This method not only trains the child’s ability to continue the story and focus on listening to others, but also allows the child to deepen their impression of the story through active participation. By using storybooks flexibly, parents can meet the developmental needs of the child and promote parent-child interaction. Children with autism often lack imaginative ability, so storybooks that come with character dolls can be very useful: initially, just tell the story, then add the dolls, and gradually reduce the use of the storybook, until finally using only the dolls to tell the story, and using the “one sentence for you, one sentence for me” method to guide the child out of the storybook and into the world of imaginative play.

 

In terms of social cognition, parents who use comics can use correction fluid to white out the “speech bubbles” of the characters, then work with the child to create new dialogues. Initially, they can modify certain words or phrases, and when both parties are familiar with the method, they can modify more parts, until all the dialogues are self-created. Daring parents can even try to custom-make storybooks for their child and design different ways of storytelling to attract the child to learn the social concepts they need.

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After promoting to primary school, classmates are completely different. How can we assist the children in adapting？

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Source: Psychologist, Dr. Lee Wai Tong

 

During the kindergarten years, children spend four years from N class to K3, and they will also make some friends, forming their own circles of friends. But after the summer break, when they will be promoted to primary school, everything can suddenly change. Some classmates may continue to attend the same school but may be placed in different classes, causing anxiety and discomfort.

 

Of course, some children who start primary school and make new friends may forget their good kindergarten classmates. But some children may need more time to develop their social skills, so they may be more concerned about their former kindergarten friends.

 

Parents can keep in touch with their child’s kindergarten friends, especially since most parents have access to kindergarten parent groups. When the child starts school in September, if they find that they don’t have as many friends to play and chat with as they did in kindergarten, they may start to develop a dislike for school. At this point, parents can help by organizing get-togethers, such as by telling a friend’s mother, “My son really misses your son.”

Let these two children develop a sense of fellowship during this transitional period. After they enter primary school and go through a longer period of time, they will also make new friends. However, during this transitional period, we also want to let them know that their good friends from kindergarten are still around, they haven’t disappeared. They will slowly let go of them as they make new friends in primary school.

 

But apart from the separation from their friends, they may also have some anxiety, to varying degrees. For example, if a child really doesn’t want to go to school, it can be troublesome for the mother, and the child may even cry when coming back home or refuse to change their school uniform. After all, their world has completely changed since they started first grade, with different teachers, environments, and more intense class schedules.

 

Usually, after school, a child might say to you, “I miss you so much today!” This sentence is actually a magic word. Where is the magic word? Many parents don’t know and will directly respond, “I miss you too.” However, the child doesn’t understand that when they say, “I miss you so much today!” after school, it actually indicates that they have had some difficulties today.

 

Going to school is actually very busy. They have to listen to lectures, do classwork, play during recess, have lunch, and participate in various activities. After 35 minutes, they have to switch to another teacher and learn new things. There is actually no space for them to sit and relax, thinking about their parents. But when something doesn’t go smoothly, they will think of their parents first because their parents are their strongest support.

So if a child proactively says, “I miss you so much today!” right after school, parents should ask them, “When do you miss me the most?” Then, we will be able to understand more clearly what they are facing. Is it when they have no friends to play with during recess? Is it when the teacher asks a question they don’t know how to answer? Is it when they don’t understand what they are learning? This will help us know how to better assist them.

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Whose trash is it? The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation to be successful

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Written by: Mr. Cheung Wai Ching, Principal

 

There are two scenes in front of us:

 

Scene One:

On a bustling street, a little boy walking with his parents notices a discarded soda can at his feet. He picks up the can, intending to throw it into a nearby trash bin. However, his mother sees this and demands that he throw the can away, but the boy refuses. Then, his father comes over and scolds him, “Idiot, how can you pick up such dirty things? You’re not a street cleaner!” The little boy responds, “The teacher said we should protect the environment and not litter!” The mother says, “You didn’t throw it, so why bother?” The little boy looks confused but has no choice but to throw the trash back on the ground.

 

Scene Two:

On a crowded train station platform, a young mother is with a boy about 5 or 6 years old. After finishing his juice, the boy casually throws the empty box under the seat. The mother quickly picks up the empty box, hands it to her son, and says, “Good boy, throw the empty box into the trash bin in front.” A moment later, the mother and son hug each other affectionately, and the mother softly says to her son, “We must protect the environment and not litter!”

 

Isn’t the boy in Scene One quite pitiful? He must be confused by the different educational methods of his parents and teacher.

 

School education, besides teaching children textbook knowledge, also emphasizes moral education. Protecting the environment is a well-known principle. When schools and teachers are fully cultivating this sense of public morality in children, if parents can cooperate with the school, encourage children to follow the teacher’s guidance, and set an example themselves, children can receive positive education, rather than learning one set of standards at school and facing another in real life.

 

Home-School Cooperation in Cultivating Children’s Character

Schools have many requirements for students, such as punctuality, discipline, orderliness, service, and cleanliness, all of which are part of moral education. The aim is for children to realize from a young age that they are part of society and have responsibilities and obligations, not just to gain benefits. Imagine, if the boy in Scene One, after hearing his parents’ reasoning, adopts the mindset of “since I didn’t throw it, I don’t need to pick it up” even at home, what would the parents think? Every parent hopes their child will consciously care for the cleanliness of their home environment and appreciate their parents’ hard work. But have you ever thought: if you never teach your child to respect the labor of cleaners, and never personally demonstrate care for the larger social environment in front of your child, how will the child learn to care for the small environment at home?

A survey found that nearly 80% of schoolchildren rarely say “thank you” when helped by elders or domestic helpers. Some children even believe that it is the domestic helper’s job to take care of them, so there is no need to be particularly polite to them. Additionally, few schoolchildren say “good morning,” “good night,” or “let’s eat” to their parents.

 

Why do children lack manners? It is because parents themselves do not say “thank you” to others or to domestic helpers. Some parents frequently or occasionally rebuke and scold elders or interrupt others while they are speaking. Besides occupying seats on public transportation, some parents also cut in line or do not queue in public places. Parents and teachers are role models for children, and our every word and action constantly influence their values. Parents must always be vigilant about their behavior and should try to correct their children’s impolite attitudes immediately, but remember to use appropriate tone and language. Parents should also take time each day to guide their children to reflect on their mistakes, making the lessons more impactful. The cultivation of children’s character must be achieved through home-school cooperation, with parents playing an even more crucial role than teachers.

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Intelligent learning through exercise

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Written by: Fung Ji Hei, Game Therapist

 

I just participated in a professional development exchange activity for teachers in Taiwan, and witnessed how Taiwan’s education system emphasizes using exercise to cultivate children’s growth. This has given me new inspiration, and I hope to share it with all parents. One of the schools we visited for the exchange could be called a “mini sports university” – “Tiger Forest Elementary School”. As soon as I stepped into the school, the students greeted us with the government-promoted fitness exercises. They followed the rhythm to raise their hands and move their bodies, doing all kinds of warm-up movements. It made me feel like they were as lively as little tigers, and I felt like I had entered a forest full of little tigers.

 

Exercise Can Strengthen Children’s Learning Ability

 

Principal Liu of Tiger Forest Elementary School said that the school is a key government school focused on the physical development of the students, and believes that exercise can strengthen their learning ability. They are based on the research of John J. Ratey, MD, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and advocate the “Anytime Exercise” program. This program encourages students to exercise at any time. During breaks, students run to any part of the playground to exercise, some play dodgeball, some climb on the jungle gym, and some play badminton. All the students enjoy every moment of exercise.

The Benefits of Exercise – Strengthening Brain Function

 

It is well known that exercise has the effect of strengthening the body and health. In Ratey’s research, he points out more about the benefits of exercise for the brain. He describes the brain as an information processing center, where information is transmitted through different pathways using different messengers (chemicals). During exercise, the brain can effectively produce more messengers and strengthen the pathways, making the transmission of information faster and more accurate.

 

When applying this theory to learning, students can strengthen their brain function through exercise, thereby enhancing their learning effectiveness. Research has proven that exercise can improve students’ concentration and memory, which are essential conditions for successful learning. In addition, exercise can cause the brain to produce Dopamine (a chemical that creates a sense of happiness), allowing students to learn happily, and naturally achieving better results.

 

How to get children to love exercise?

 

To let children enjoy the time and benefits of exercise, parents need to help children love exercise. Here are three suggestions:

 

  1. Anytime Exercise

 

Provide more opportunities for children to exercise, such as giving them appropriate time, tools, and venues, while parents should also pay attention to the safety of the environment.

 

  1. Healthy Exercise

 

Teach children to exercise for the sake of health, and emphasize the benefits of exercise to health.

 

  1. Exercise Together

 

Exercise with children more often, enjoy the moments of exercise, and cherish the quality time between parents and children.

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Children don’t want to come home after going out. What should parents do?

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Source：Registered Clinical Psychologist, Yiu Fong Lee

 

Sometimes, when parents go out with their children, they often encounter situations where the children are having a great time but then start crying and refuse to go home. They cry uncontrollably, regardless of whether we try to coax them, punish them, or explain the reasons. They may continue crying persistently, and we really don’t know what to do. How can we handle such situations with our children?

 

First, we need to understand the child’s emotions and ask about the reasons behind their reluctance to go home. What is the reason that makes them not want to go home? Do they want to continue playing? Parents can say to them, “I also want to know what happened. Why don’t you tell me?” Sometimes, in clinical practice, we may hear several different possibilities. For example, the child may say, “I’m very happy because it’s really fun here, and I want to keep playing,” or “I’m scared to go home because I’ll have to do homework or study,” or “I’m afraid of some relatives at home because they might scold me.” By understanding the reasons, we can help the child express their emotions.

 

The mother can respond by saying, “Mom hears you. You want to continue experiencing this feeling of happiness,” or “Mom hears you. You’re afraid of studying or feel a lot of pressure with exams,” or a third response could be, “You feel scared of certain people at home, and it seems like you’re not happy being around them.” Then, we can brainstorm together with the child to find ways to deal with the situations mentioned above.

 

For example, in the first scenario where the child wants to continue experiencing the happy feeling, we can brainstorm with them about activities they can do at home that would give them the same sense of happiness. For instance, if they enjoy watching TV, playing on a tablet, or playing board games, they can continue engaging in similar activities or play with toys at home once they return.

The second scenario might involve fear of academic pressure and exams. The mother should explain to the child how to cope with study-related stress. For example, they can create a schedule where different tasks or homework are assigned to different times, letting the child know that after effectively completing these tasks, they will have leisure time. Parents can also engage in mindfulness exercises with the child, such as focused breathing or body scanning, allowing them to feel sensations in different parts of their body and helping reduce stress reactions. Parents can practice together with the child, allowing them to relax and not feel overly anxious about studying and exams.

 

If the issue revolves around the child’s relationship with family members, it is encouraged to allocate more playtime with relatives or engage in activities the child particularly enjoys together with them. It is also important to have moments of quiet listening, to truly understand what the child fears about the elders. We let them express their thoughts and feelings and listen attentively, making the child feel that the parents understand their world and know their needs.

 

Another approach is to create a behavior-consequence matching chart with the child before going out, as a form of mental preparation. For example, write down the specific time range for visiting an entertainment venue on the chart. If the child can adhere to the schedule and leave the venue on time, they will earn a reward symbol on the chart. This immediate reward could be their favorite food or the opportunity to obtain their favorite toy.

If the child refuses to leave the entertainment venue, throws a tantrum, or arrives home late, we will also assign a negative symbol on the behavior-consequence matching chart, indicating a negative consequence. For example, it could involve taking away all entertainment privileges for the rest of the evening or even not being able to visit their favorite entertainment venue for a week. This behavior-consequence matching chart should be discussed and created together with the child before going out, and its contents should be reviewed after each outing to ensure its appropriateness. Adjustments can be made to the chart, adding or removing consequences, to provide the child with a clear goal to follow, making them realize that they are expected to return home.

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