Month: November 2023

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How to help children who are rather clumsy?

Parenting Tips

November 2023

Family Marriage & Art Therapist, Ko Wing Oi (Wendy)

 

Parents often mention that their children are clumsy, often tripping or dropping things easily. This is related to hand-eye coordination and even the development of finger muscles. Many toys are now designed to train a child’s finger muscles from as early as a few months old.

 

Many parents are aware that various games can train finger muscles. But besides finger muscles, how can we train children to handle, grasp, or manipulate objects using their fingers? Balance is also crucial.

 

In fact, many toys can help train balance, and finger muscles can be developed in the process. For example, stacking games with different shapes, sizes, colors, and numbers can be used. When a child picks a die with a green side and the number 2, they have to find the corresponding green piece with a 2, and then pick another die, let’s say it’s blue with a 5, and find the blue piece with a 5, and continue stacking. This trains children on how to stack the pieces to maintain balance and prevent them from toppling over.

Another toy is the Russian stacking block puzzle, which is more complex in terms of layering and might be more interesting to children. Children can move the bottom block and then stack the Russian block puzzle pieces. This toy presents a certain level of difficulty, training children’s fingers, critical thinking, finger muscles, and balance.

 

Of course, clumsiness and accidents are also related to their level of concentration. For example, when a child is holding a cup of water, but their eyes are not on the cup; they are watching TV or listening to the adults around them. So, in addition to training their hand-eye coordination and balance, it’s also essential to train their concentration.

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Being unfocused when playing with toys, will it make it harder for them to concentrate on learning in the future?

Parenting Tips

November 2023

Source : Registered Clinical Psychologist, Yiu Fong Lee

 

Some parents may notice that their children, aged 4 to 5, often have trouble staying focused when playing with toys. For example, they may play with one toy for only 2 minutes before switching to another, and they might take out all the toys in the room without cleaning up afterward. Parents may worry that if their children are so unfocused now, how will they fare in exams or when studying in the future?

 

It turns out that when children’s brain development is not yet mature, their attention span can be a bit short. Research has found that mindfulness can help improve children’s focus, especially by training their frontal lobes, which can enhance their attention and concentration.

 

There are some mindfulness games that can be used as a reference. For example, parents can use certain apps with visual cues. Children can follow these apps, for instance, there might be an image of a balloon that inflates when they breathe in and deflates when they breathe out. This way, by following their breath, children can improve their ability to concentrate. Additionally, there’s a practice called ‘Statue,’ which many parents might remember from their own childhood. In this exercise, children must sit still and watch an app or a timer for a specific duration to see how long they can remain seated calmly.

“Then, if children manage to do this, you can introduce an additional element, which is auditory distractions. For example, you can include some simple sounds, like calm music. If the children succeed with that, you can gradually introduce more challenging elements, such as cartoons or anything they enjoy, to see if they can stay focused on the app and their breathing in a more distracting environment. This helps train their concentration.

 

Secondly, we can try implementing some rules and visual reminders. You can tell the children that there is a rule when it comes to playing games or with toys: they have to finish playing with one thing before they start with another, and they should spend at least 5 to 10 minutes playing with each item before switching. You can use some pictures to show them one toy, then cleaning up that toy, and then moving on to the next. In between, you can indicate that they should play with each toy for 5 to 10 minutes.”

The third method is a behavioral consequence approach. When children are able to focus, parents can encourage them by saying, ‘You did a great job because you were so focused!’ or by telling them, ‘I appreciate your effort because you can sit still and enjoy one toy. You can actually have more fun while playing with your toys this way.’ If the child cannot do it, we can introduce consequences. For example, you can say, ‘You finished playing with one thing and then jumped to another and then to a third one. This means you couldn’t follow the rules, so now we need to take a break.’ This break could be, for instance, 5 minutes of not playing with any toys. You can use an app to help them sit quietly until they feel they can concentrate on one game, and then you can continue playing.

 

The fourth method is what we call the ‘Star Focus Reward Plan.’ For this, you can give the child a timer, clock, or hourglass, and the child watches the time while engaging in a focused activity, like 1 minute or 2 minutes. Parents can discuss with the child that for each session of focused attention, they will earn a star, which goes into a piggy bank. The child can see how long they can focus, and these stars accumulate, helping the child become more focused over time.

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Apart from during reading, can parents utilize dialogic techniques in their everyday lives?

Parenting Tips

November 2023

Source: Educational psychologists, Shum Ka Man and Tang Wai Yan

 

The techniques used in dialogic reading, including questioning and the subsequent interaction between parents and children, can actually be applied and practiced not only in reading but also in everyday life.

 

For example, during playtime or when encountering something new while out shopping or seeing objects around, these questioning methods can be applied. As for the steps, we engage in a conversation and exchange with the child. For instance, if we are playing with trains at home, parents can use a questioning approach like, ‘When we’re on transportation, what do we usually ride?’

 

These methods can encourage children to express themselves more and foster greater interaction with their parents. Besides play, children often enjoy drawing. During the process of drawing, you can also employ dialogic reading techniques. For example, ask questions like, ‘What is the content of this drawing?’ ‘What is this?’ ‘When did you see this? Could it be related to the playground equipment we saw at the park last week?

These are actually just a part of the dialogic reading techniques, and there are some additional tips for dialogic reading. For example, deliberate pauses are important for us. Sometimes, parents may be a bit impatient and expect an immediate response after asking a question. However, we should give children some space and time to answer gradually. Children need time to organize their thoughts and sentences. If we remember the techniques of dialogic reading, they can help us be more patient in our everyday conversations with children.

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